Dos Banditos ...

If you're reading the title (and feeling confused) you should know that you have to say 'Dos Banditos' in a very husky, Antonio-Banderas-does-Zorro type voice ... ¡Dos Banditos! That's better.

So, last year, two days before Christmas, my fiancee and I were robbed. Yes, again. Yes, twice in one year ... well, for me, not him. THIS time, it was worse monetarily. ¡Dos Banditos! got quite a bit of cash, his wallet, his car, both our phones and goodly chunks of self-respect and pride. Pulled the gold chain right off Chef's neck. It was also worse in terms of location. Note to self: do not stand outside own house liming at 11 pm.

On the other hand, they didn't hurt us at all. In fact, they were almost polite. They patted Chef Boyardee down to make sure he didn't have anything else they could steal and plucked my phone very gently from my hand. Or was it gingerly. Hey they could have 'patted' me down too, so I am grateful for small mercies.

However, ¡Dos Banditos! were quite cocky. When Chef Boyardee asked them to take everything else but leave the car (I wonder if that included me?) one of them replied, "Yeah we leaving it down the road. But we hadda leave, cause you goin' an call de police. Ent is yuh duty to call de police?" Bright. No, they didn't leave the car down the road.

And they should be cocky. They've got away clean with almost $75,000 in money and valuables. The police came pretty quickly, probably because I still had the squad captain's cell number, took our details etc. But they were a lot more concerned with the four murders and two house breaks that had happened the same night, all 10-15 minutes drive away from my house. A little stolen car etc. didn't rate as high on their priority scale as human lives, and it shouldn't.

But it makes you wonder. Christmas time, when everyone is cooking, baking, visiting, smiling, just enjoying the season, ¡Dos Banditos! et al decided that they'd bring home some bacon too. Except it wasn't their bacon. Chef and I do the right thing, have legal jobs, work for what we have. These guys got a gun and took it away. Just like that. According to Chef, poof! *waves hands around doing spirit fingers*.

It kinda taught me a lesson though. I haven't bought another phone yet; been using a beat up old Samsung that a relative had lying around. Tend to carry less valuables around with me. I always scope out an area before I park, especially where I live. And although Chef and I will get new stuff, I'm rethinking getting the iPhone I used to crave and I've started to wear really cheap jewelry. Maybe it's the conspicuous consumption of wealth that's driving this crime thing. I'm not saying that those who can afford nice stuff shouldn't have it. But if we don't NEED it, why do we have it? More importantly, who exactly are we flaunting it to?

If you can afford a nice car, then great. But what's with the rims, and spoilers and fog lights? THAT's the beauty of the car? And then there's the Blackberry/iPhone thing. It's convenient, they're stylish, they're in. But does everybody need them? Are we all in jobs where we need to be e-mailing folk in the car?

I do plan to buy a new phone (possibly a BB since I actually do need to e-mail people in the car :p) and I do have other stuff that people will want to steal. But I'm being a little more careful about how and where I display it. And by the way, if any potential ¡Dos Banditos! are reading this, if you can afford a gun and you're smart enough to know who to target and when to do it, you're smart enough to start a business and have enough money to pay some overhead. Please don't take my phone again.