Back ... not necessarily by popular demand ...

Clearly, I haven't blogged for months. Since September, to be perfectly exact. We are now nearly at the end of November. But I have a great excuse.

I'm pregnant. Yay!

When morning sickness sneaks up on you and kicks your behind flat onto a bed (or bathroom floor), you tend to lose perspective. Life tilts. Sitting in front of anything except an air conditioning unit loses its appeal, drastically. You become paranoid beyond belief, thinking that your husband has started an affair and your mother may want you dead. And more than anything, ANYTHING else, I hated not being able to eat what I wanted. During the first three weeks, the thought of eating or drinking anything, including water, was anathema to me. Let me say it again: I COULD NOT DRINK WATER WITHOUT THROWING UP. Things like pizza, barbeque ... in fact, meat on the whole revolted me. Bread nauseated me. I reviled tea, dry crackers, wet crackers, fruits, cup soup, coconut water, sweets, eggs, geera chicken, yogurt, grass, everything edible was off limits and would find its way back out in much the same condition it got in. Or so my body said. And demonstrated quite aptly by triggering the most terrifying, God-awful regurgitational spasms. Walk too quickly, like faster than an African snail? Throw up. Sit up at desk for more than 15 minutes at a time? Throw up. Think about food? Throw up, gag and heave bile into the toilet boil.

Chef offered to teach me how to throw up properly, since in his misspent youth he has some drunken escapades that apparently taught him the science of vomiting without getting the stuff all over the floor and on yourself. I declined and suffered the consequences. A lot of clothes got washed during that period and the bathroom reeked of bleach. Chef was not great at emotional support during this time.

Gradually, gradually, I began to keep liquids down, once I took them in at a rate of about one sip per hour. Hot tea was MOST welcome, if you understand what I mean. Then I could eat bread and cheese, which I did for about two weeks straight. Then began my love affair with Suppligen Sea moss; it became breakfast lunch and dinner, and it had to be ice cold for me to drink it. It was a long slow process, during which (I must admit) I did not comb my hair and bathing daily was not a huge priority; I did brush my teeth after every single vomit session. But I came back to the land of the living. And I have so much more gross stuff to share with you, but that is for another day.

Pregnancy is not for the faint-hearted.