Pregnancy Fun Fact #2271

So no, I am no kind of authority on anything, but I do want to share with you some of my pregnancy experiences. I am sure that it will be like a cake walk compared to actually having the child here, but hey. This is my reality and my blog and I will backtrack when the time comes.

One of the more interesting physical aspects of pregnancy has been the dizzy spells. Forget not being able to buckle shoes or put on pants without help from my smirking husband; these dizzy spells take the cake. Not content to sit and play quietly in amniotic fluid (should I take this as a sign of things to come?) my unborn child does something that s/he probably thinks is funny. While Mommy is walking, she'll feel a gradually increasing pressure, as if said child is slowly pressing itself deep into her groin. The pressure itself is manageable. The problem is that circulation is cut off from a pretty important vein or artery in my left leg. I can literally feel my life draining away. Very shortly afterward, I feel all the veins and arteries in my body screaming for sustenance. My limbs burn; my eyes begin to blur; I pant for breath, seriously. It's the closest I have ever come to fainting. Picture a pregnant woman staggering along the road then leaning up on a telephone pole, gasping. Scary, isn't it? That was me on my way home today.

The other thing that interests me is the belly. I have never been the one to walk up to random pregnant women and ask to feel de belly. So I never know how a pregnant belly feel until I grew one. Now, touching about seven months, it's truly a wonder of the world: nearly turgid at times, slanting at whatever angle the child decides to lie in, with an amazing feature: the disappearing belly button. And sometimes you can see the baby kick so hard that the imprint of a small fist or foot is briefly visible. Alien vs. Predator was my first thought. The next one was, "Why are you kicking me?"

Chef is enjoying the pregnancy, mostly because I am providing him with barrels of laughter. Ever had your very skinny husband walk next to you at the mall and randomly decide to imitate your waddle, lingay arms and legs flying about? How about gentle nudges onto the bed because he knows that your centre of gravity is totally whacked out? Watching me try to sit on a low seat also generates peals of laughter, although he does make up for it by pulling me up whenever I need it. I find myself believing that doorways should be made wide enough so that pregnant women can roll off off chairs and right through the door. The momentum is bound to get us standing upright eventually.

I don't know where I'm going with this post, so I'll end the rambling by saying that although this is hard, there's something new to look forward to everyday. Exploding toes, here I come.